by Mark H.

Recently I asked a person on the Uptown House Steering Board, of which I am a member, why the House is no longer providing hand san.

Hand san has become ubiquitous in our culture to prevent the spread of disease. It is a great way to keep our hands clean, especially during influenza season, until we can wash our hands. Hand washing is still the best preventative since viruses, etc., find safe haven in hand grime.

The board member told me the hand san was removed from the club on purpose because there was a person or more drinking it for the alcohol content.

I guess I’ve been sober too long or had a high bottom because this revelation shocked me.

I do know one thing, however, addiction is irrational. “Why,” several normies have asked me over the years, “do people continue to use alcohol and drugs when it is destroying them and their lives.?”

“That is a rational question, but addiction is irrational,” I respond. This simple truism explains a lot about addictive behavior, including drinking hand san.

I wondered the same thing about myself, that is, why I behaved in certain ways when the behavior was so destructive. At some point in my early sobriety, at the urging of my sponsor and home group friends, I quit trying to figure everything out. As AA’s Big Book instructs, I just accepted the undeniable truth about myself, surrendered to Step One, asked for help and watched my life improve until this day.

And I thank AA and my higher power for that every day.